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| Company Christmas Party | Rate Topic |
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| Posted: Mon Dec 22nd, 2008 06:51 pm |
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1st Post |
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Norman 3T WIS 
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FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director TO: All Employees DATE: December 01, 2007 RE: Christmas Party I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place on December 23, starting at noon in the private function room at the Grill House. There will be an open bar & plenty of food We'll have a small band playing traditional carols ... feel free to sing along. And don't be surprised if our CEO shows up dressed as Santa Claus! A Christmas tree will be lit at 1:00pm. Exchange of gifts among employees can be done at that time; however, no gift should be over $10.00 to make the giving of gifts easy for everyone's pocket. This gathering is only for employees! Our CEO will make a special announcement at that time! Merry Christmas to you & your family. Patty FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director TO: All Employees DATE: December 02, 2007 RE: Holiday Party In no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our Jewish employees. We recognize that Chanukah is an important holiday, which often coincides w/Christmas, tho unfortunately not this year. However, from now on we're calling it our "Holiday Party." The same policy applies to any other employees who are not Christians or those still celebrating Reconciliation Day. There will be no Christmas tree. No Christmas carols sung. We will have other types of music for your enjoyment. Happy now? Happy Holidays to you & your family. Patty FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director TO: All Employees DATE: December 03, 2007 RE: Holiday Party Regarding the note I received from a member of Alcoholics Anonymous requesting a non-drinking table ... you didn't sign your name. I'm happy to accommodate this request, but if I put a sign on a table that reads, "AA Only"; you wouldn't be anonymous anymore. How am I supposed to handle this? Somebody? Forget about the gift exchange, no gift exchange is allowed since the union members feel that $10.00 is too much money & executives believe $10.00 is a little chintzy . NO GIFTS EXCHANGE WILL BE ALLOWED. FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director To: All Employees DATE: December 04, 2007 RE: Holiday Party What a diverse group we are! I had no idea that December 20 begins the Muslim holy month of Ramadan, which forbids eating & drinking during daylight hours. There goes the party! Seriously, we can appreciate how a luncheon at this time of year does not accommodate our Muslim employees' beliefs. Perhaps the Grill House can hold off on serving your meal until the end of the party - or else package everything for you to take it home in little foil doggy baggy. Will that work? Meanwhile, I've arranged for members of Weight Watchers to sit farthest from the dessert buffet & pregnant women will get the table closest to the restrooms. Gays are allowed to sit w/each other. Lesbians do not have to sit w/ Gay men, each will have their own table. Yes, there will be flower arrangement for the Gay men's table. To the person asking permission to cross dress, no cross-dressing allowed tho we will have booster seats for short people. Low-fat food will be available for those on a diet. We cannot control the salt used in the food we suggest for those people w/high blood pressure to taste 1st. There will be fresh fruits as dessert for Diabetics, the restaurant cannot supply "No Sugar" desserts. Sorry! Did I miss anything?!?!? Patty FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director TO: All ******g Employees DATE: December 05, 2007 RE: The ******g Holiday Party Vegetarian pr*&#%$ks I've had it w/you people!!! We're going to keep this party at the Grill House whether you like it or not, so you can sit quietly at the table furthest from the "grill of death," as you so quaintly put it, & you'll get your ******g salad bar, including organic tomatoes. But you know, tomatoes have feelings, too. They scream when you slice them. I've heard them scream. I'm hearing them scream right NOW! I hope you all have a rotten holiday! Drive drunk & die, The ***** from HELL!!! FROM: Joan Bishop, Acting Human Resources Director DATE: December 06, 2007 RE: Patty Lewis & Holiday Party Applications are now being accepted for the position of Human Resources Director. In the meantime, management has decided to cancel our Holiday Party & give everyone the afternoon of the 23rd off w/full pay. Happy Holidays!  Last edited on Mon Dec 22nd, 2008 06:54 pm by Norman |
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| Posted: Mon Dec 22nd, 2008 07:01 pm |
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2nd Post |
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murphy j 3T WIS 
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| Posted: Mon Dec 22nd, 2008 07:30 pm |
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3rd Post |
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Skipdawg 3T WIS 
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| Posted: Mon Dec 22nd, 2008 07:44 pm |
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4th Post |
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Norman 3T WIS
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You're a kool dude skip.:cool:
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| Posted: Mon Dec 22nd, 2008 07:57 pm |
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5th Post |
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Willieboy 3T WIS 
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That's too funny Norman. How did we ever survive without political correctness.
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